Thank you, sir. Yes you, the anonymous man who leaves the USA Today paper in the back men's room stall. Because of you, I can relax and enjoy my time in the back stall a little better, armed with the ability to read front page stories about Joe Torre and Hannah Montana. After a while, however, I start feel a little disgust at the American Media that while actually important things are happening around the globe, front page news here still consists of a guy that manages a baseball team and a fourteen year old singer. I digress further and begin to wonder why only the front section of the paper is in the stall. What about the sports section (so I can no doubt read more about baseball managers) or the finance section (so that my quick break from work can be filled with reading about my work)? What of a section telling me about life and entertainment? Of all the sections you choose to leave in the men's room and not keep with you, why is it the front section? Isn't the front news section of the most importance? Wouldn't it be this section you keep with you? Ah, but then I consider that you're leaving this section to continue later. This, however, strikes me strange as well. I mean, seriously - how many times are you planning to go to the bathroom today that you leave the paper in there? Every hour? Twice an hour? Surly going once in the morning and another in the afternoon doesn't warrant leaving your paper in there to continue reading, does it?

After processing these questions, I have come to the realization I feared the most. Surely, there is some sort of espionage occurring at the Turtle Creek Tower. The only logical conclusion is that the paper is left as some sort of drop - like I see in those spy movies and tv shows. There must be some sort of hidden message buried within the text of these articles - left perhaps for an undercover agent by you, his handler.

Well, maybe not. But maybe...



*update: This afternoon I went to the men's room on the floor below (cleaning lady was occupying my normal men's room) and found in the back stall the USA Today Money section. Seriously - how weird is that?!